The Friday Five… on FRIDAY!

February 28, 2003 | 1 Comment

Will wonders never cease? I’m actually on time this week. To play The Friday Five or read the answers of those who do, just go here!

This week’s questions revolve around literature and the wonderful pastime of reading. Here we go…

1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?
I tend to gravitate towards non-fiction. I find that it is a good diversion from all of the outlandish fantasies that are constantly rolling around in my mind.
2. What is your favorite novel?
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Actually, I love just about everything Capote wrote, that eccentric little fruitcake.

3. Do you have a favorite poem? (Share it!)
I’ve avidly read this woman’s poetry for over a decade now. She is an absolute treasure.

For the young who want to
by Marge Piercy

Talent is what they say
you have after the novel
is published and favorably
reviewed. Beforehand what
you have is a tedious
delusion, a hobby like knitting.

Work is what you have done
after the play is produced
and the audience claps.
Before that friends keep asking
when you are planning to go
out and get a job.

Genius is what they know you
had after the third volume
of remarkable poems. Earlier
they accuse you of withdrawing,
ask why you don’t have a baby,
call you a bum.

The reason people want M.F.A.’s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else’s mannerisms

is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall
like your optician, your vet
proving you may be a clumsy sadist
whose fillings fall into the stew
but you’re certified a dentist.

The real writer is one
who really writes. Talent
is an invention like phlogiston
after the fact of fire.
Work is its own cure. You have to
like it better than being loved.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

4. What is one thing you’ve always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?
Believe it or not, I have never read The Hobbit or anything written by Tolkien. Every reader I know just gushes over it, so I feel like I may be missing something. I even have a beautiful, leather bound copy of it, but I can never get past the first few chapters. It bugs me that I don?t see the big fascination with it.

5. What are you currently reading?
I?m re-reading Joseph Campbell?s Thou Art That and slowly working my way through John MacGregor?s interesting book entitled Henry Darger: In the Realms of the Unreal. Darger is one of the artists that I have my Outsider Art class study; you should check him out. His work is both intriguing and disturbing. Click the link above to read a review of the book. I will be giving you a test on the material later. (Just kidding!)

Speaking of tests, the make-up exam went off without a snivel, whimper or hitch. I am glad they didn’t all arrive loaded with attitude, because I was more than prepared to serve them up some of my own if needed. I’ll be correcting the exams this weekend and it will be interesting to see how everyone did. Hopefully they will all get good marks and we can put this ugly little event behind us for the rest of the semester.

I am so excited about having the next 9 days to dedicate to my art projects. The ideas/images are coming fast and furious now and it will be great to strike while the iron is hot. When I turn out something I like a lot, I’ll share a picture of it here with you. Oh hell, maybe I’ll even show you some incredibly crappy work just for the fun of it.

More later, cha-chas…

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Professor Meanie.

February 27, 2003 | 4 Comments

I hate being the bad guy. I really do. Sometimes it?s necessary, though, so when that?s the case, I step up and do my bad-guy best.

I have a handful of students in one of my classes that is trying their damnedest to outwit me on an issue concerning taking their midterm exam. Here are a few details:

I received an email at 12:01 on Tuesday morning from the spokesman of the little group. They said they had an “emergency situation” that was going to cause them to miss taking the exam when it was originally scheduled for that afternoon, exactly 15 hours later. (One of them was very ill and needed to go to the ER, and the three others decided they had to go along for moral support.) The excuse sounded like bullshit to me; I conferred with a few colleagues who all agreed it sounded like bullshit to them, too. Oh, I believe that the one person was indeed ill, so I am being very flexible with her; the other three simply aren?t prepared to take the test and they are trying to buy more time or find a way to get access to the answers beforehand.

Anyway, I thought about it, then decided that instead of being a complete hardass and refusing to give them a make-up exam, I would compromise. I gave them the choice of showing up at the originally scheduled time and taking the exam with the rest of the class that day, or they could take a specially-prepared, much more difficult test two days later (today.) I let them know that whoever didn?t take the make-up version will get an F score that they would have to live with. Then I left it up to them.

Needless to say, none of them showed up in class to take the test on Tuesday. I knew they wouldn?t.

Last night when I got home from work there was an email waiting for me from one of the group stating that she wanted to take the exam at another location on campus (her learning disability counselor?s office) and could I please run a copy of the test over there or allow her to come and pick up one up at her convenience?

I about hit the fucking roof. I couldn?t believe she had the gall to even ask for this!

I never give make-up exams unless there are extreme circumstances such as severe illness or a death in the family. If that is the case, I will work with the student in any way I can to assist them. I?ve even included this information in my syllabus so everyone knows the rules. So I?ve already cut them all a huge amount of slack just by agreeing to a second test.

I highly suspect that the only reason she wanted to take the exam outside of our classroom is so that she wouldn?t be monitored as closely and/or she could inform her buddies of the test questions so they would stand a better chance when they took it hours later. It?s just fucking incredible. I never would have dreamed of behaving like that when I was a student. And the fact that they are being so obvious about it is insulting to my intelligence. As if they don?t think I am smart enough to know what they are up to!

I am also preparing myself for the fact that the one person may try to play the ?learning disability? card with me if she can. I have news for her, if she does. I have diagnosed learning disabilities. They certainly never interfered with my integrity or my ability to take a test as scheduled. I just had to work harder and study longer sometimes.

Grrr. This whole thing just chaps my ass. I am so glad spring break starts tomorrow, so I won?t have to deal with this little group of schemers for a while. I love my job and my students, but sometimes I wish I could go all Bitchzilla on a few people just to wake them up.

I am hoping my super-duper, make-you-wanna-cry-for-mama make-up exam will get my point across just fine.

OK, now that I have emptied my brain of this subject, I am going to try for another hour or two of sleep. I’ll write again later and let you know how things turn out.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

New artwork!

February 24, 2003 | 2 Comments

I have no idea who the child is in this vintage photograph, but from now on he shall be known as Lil? Schmooopie.

“Lil’ Schmooopie”
Mixed media collage
Reborn on 02.23.2003

I love being an artist; it allows me to create like God.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Well, ain’t this cool?!

February 24, 2003 | 5 Comments

I must say, I am honored that my humble little page here has been selected as a Philosopher?s Pick for the brand-new website, Geek Philosopher. Being chosen for this showcase is my first “distinction” in the weblogging community, and I am pretty darn proud. Click the graphic below to check out the site?s main page; click here to view my sample entries.

Many thanks to Barbara Hocking, the owner, for this wonderful recognition!

It was a really busy weekend for me. When I wasn?t working on something for school, I was painting and collaging. It was messy, creative and fun for the most part. The artwork is coming along pretty well; I just have to keep telling my internal censor to shut the fuck up.

The endless, nitpicking, dialogue goes a little something like this:

?That?s trite? actually too cute. When did you turn into such a cutesy dork??

?Shut up.?

?No one will ever take this seriously, you know. This is craft, not fine art.?

?SHUT UP??

?Good Lord, you just thought of putting glitter on this, didn?t you? I heard you say it! Your thoughts aren?t safe from me, you know.?

?Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddup you !@#$% bitch!!!?

And so goes my battle with the creative censor. Funny, her voice sounds exactly like my departmental supervisor at Notre Dame. Imagine that.

I wonder what it is going to take to make that voice go away. Maybe I need ten minutes alone in a locked room with the real-life censor — her name starts with the letter ?M?? like, say ?Maria? or something. (That was evil, I know.) I just want to tell her off and set the record straight. She, of course, would have to be hog-tied and have her mouth duct-taped shut in order for that to work.

Someday. Someday it will happen. I will have completely reclaimed my artistic soul from that bitch and she will end up eating every nasty, haughty word she ever uttered about my work.

Whoa. No bitterness there, huh? Moving right along?

I am starting to look around for a new vehicle. My Lumina is still in decent shape, but it?s also 11 years old, and I know it won?t last forever. It has a lot of hard miles from driving the I-80 Illinois Autobahn for 3 years, too. (I am still amazed that I was never in an accident during that time. Crazy-ass Chicago drivers.)

So, anyway, I?m looking. The Jeep Liberty has caught my eye recently. If I ordered it new with everything I want on it, it would be about $24k.

Uh, yeah. And apparently that is inexpensive for an SUV.

I don?t know if I can swallow that price. I think I might still be a ?pre-owned-but-NEW-to-me? kind of person. I have to think about this. Maybe I just have to get comfortable with having an income of my own first. Mind you, Agent J is all excited about the prospect of me buying a new car ? he even thinks that factory fresh is a great idea — but he has more experience with big-ticket purchases than I do.

Me, I?m a big puss about stuff like that, and it takes a long time for me to realize everything will be ok if I crawl out onto that big, scary financial limb.

I just realized that I talk about my fears a lot in this journal. Maybe I should rename the site ?infinitechickenshit.com.?

Oooh.. my censor just said ?Great idea, chickenshit…?

That bitch.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Helloooooo!

February 22, 2003 | 4 Comments

Hiya, friends. I apologize for the lack of updates recently. Not only have I been off doing other things, but my server is doing some upgrading, so posting abilities have been a bit wonky the past couple of days. Everything is running smoothly again, so we will now resume our regular program, already in progress.

Well, I am really in the soup now. I?ve been asked (and have agreed) to teach three courses each semester next year, which bumps me up to the ? time level. Needless to say, I am thrilled with this new development! It will mean more involvement with the students and the department, my own office, a big new computer, a pay hike, and a few other nice perks. I still won?t be entitled to health insurance, but I am really well covered with Agent J?s company plan, so I?m not concerned with that at the moment.

I think it?s actually starting to sink in a little. I?m a teacher at a wonderful college, and I?ll probably be able to do this as long as I choose to. It still blows me away at times. I mean, if you had predicted this for me ten years ago, I would have laughed my ass off, then smacked you upside the head and told you to lay off the weed, dude.

Secretly I would have been hoping you were a prophetic genius, though.

After class yesterday I drove over to Galena, Illinois and went rifling through a couple of antique shops in search of collage materials. Mmm-mmm, did I hit the mother lode! I found a good selection of vintage photos, buttons, linen handkerchiefs, a couple of small wooden boxes, and some tiny skeleton keys ? all to be used in upcoming projects. I am squirreling away quite a supply now. Springbreak is March 1-7, and I am going to devote the majority of that time to my artwork. Woe be it to the person who interrupts my creative groove during that week; I may cut off all of their hair and steal snippets of their clothing to use in a collage or something.

Like everyone else with more than a dab of intelligence, I have been keeping my eye on the war situation with Hussein/Iraq/Al-Queda/Bin Laden. (Trust me, my fellow Americans; they are all the same damn thing.) I?ll be very surprised if the Allied forces aren?t actively removing Saddam?s rancid, evil ass from power within the next 10 days.

I?ll be completely honest here: war scares the hell out of me. Being at the mercy of Saddam Hussein?s psychotic internal voices and itchy bomb-launching finger scares me even more, though. I?m not na?ve enough to think that simply taking him out is going to make the world all rosy and peaceful, but I do think the rest of us will all be much safer after he is gone.

Just going with my wisdom and intuition here. I might be wrong, but I don?t think so.

More later, my lovelies. I really have no idea why I am up so early to begin with. Maybe because I fell into bed, exhausted, at 9:00 pm last night? Heh. I?m such a party animal.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized