Ah, Monday…

February 29, 2004 | 1 Comment

Another Monday and new month to look forward to. Let’s make them good ones, ok?

I?m really excited about this next bit of news: I ordered a new computer station/worktable for my studio the other day. It should be delivered some time this week. Right now I have my comp on top of an old drafting table with a filing cabinet located on either side for storage. The printer sits on one cabinet, and the scanner on the other. None of the surfaces match in height so everything is either falling off or crowded as hell. It?s really a bitch to try and get anything done.

Not to mention the fact that Randy and Maizey think the warm top of the monitor is the best place in the world to sleep whenever they can ? and when they are finished napping, they jump down right on top of my other equipment to make their get-away.

Bwahahaha! Not any more, my little pusskalitas! Mean cat-mama took care of that bad habit. There is an adjustable top shelf that can be placed so even the most determined naughty cats cannot squeeze their fat little butts into the space for a snooze.

Check it out:

I even customized it. I asked them to make the desktop bigger — 72 x 30 inches, which was no problem because the company I bought it from manufactures the tables in their own plant.

If I can?t get more organized and productive with a workstation like this, then I give up; there is no hope for me. I?ll let you know how it goes when it arrives this week.

Did you watch the Academy Awards tonight? Meh, me neither. The majority of Hollywood = a bunch of pompous assholes.

I was just wondering if anyone flashed a tit or anything. I?m on alert now. I?m expecting to see tits and asses flashing left , right and everywhere in between. Janet has left me with a constant craaaaaaa-ving?.

Not.

I?m calculating mid-term grades tonight; they are due on Tuesday. To all of my students out there reading this (and you know who you are) no one ever gets an “A” from me at midterm. No one. Not even those of you who brought me flowers, shiny red apples, and scented body oils. (Yeah, right.)

So no whining because you didn?t get one. Hell, I have to give you people something to work for the rest of the semester, you know. Can?t have you resting on your laurels all smug and content.

However, I have to admit, some students have made marks nearly good enough to warrant a mid-term A. This is a signal for me to raise the bar a little more. Harder tests, more reading assignments, and absolutely no lenience on spelling and other careless mistakes. Time to change from Bitch Lite to Classic Bitch mode.

*CLICK*

Hear that? Beware! I just flipped the switch.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Sunday? Yep. Sunday.

February 29, 2004 | 1 Comment

Lurking in my subconscious, just waiting to be Muttered…

Hollywood:: fucking phonies
Censor :: edit
Nascar:: rednecks
Lube:: wild, kinky sex
Mortgage:: almost paid off!
Freedom:: happiness
Champion:: Muhammad Ali - forever!
Reality TV:: chewing gum for the eyes
New York:: the Big Apple
Tease:: c o c k

Lawdy. I hope my mom isn?t reading this. She loves Nascar and would be highly offended by the ?rednecks? remark.

Saturday was Day 2 of Snooze-a-Palooza 2004. I think I may be caught up now and ready to work the rest of the break. It?s probably a good thing, too. The poor little cats watch over my motionless — yet snoring — body as I am flopped on the bed for hours on end. I go to sleep, they are there. I wake up, they are there. They?re either very concerned about me or they?re trying to decide which part of me would be the tastiest if I don?t wake up in time to feed them a snack. Little vultures with fur, I tell ya.

Here?s a little something I made in Photoshop tonight. I?m definitely on a gem-tone jag lately. Especially reds and oranges.

Fleuron

Photoshop raw creation
412 x 412 pixels
February 29, 2004

I would write more, but I can?t remember everything I dreamed about the past two days. And the stuff I do remember? well…

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Thursday schmursday.

February 26, 2004 | 1 Comment

Today was the last day of classes before break. Well, officially tomorrow is, but I gave my students Friday off. Like any of them would have showed up anyway. Hah.

My momma didn?t raise no fools.

Also, I told everyone that I if hear about any of them doing a Girls Gone Wild video over break, I will personally hunt them down and ~~beat some sense into~~ chastise them. Out of love, of course.

Seriously though, it will be good not to think about all of them for a while. I feel like a sucked-dry mama dog who just ditched her litter of 50 pups for a week. Ahhhhh?

In world news, Rosie O?Donnell married her life partner today; Mel Gibson?s movie The Passion of The Christ killed some woman in Kansas; and Howard Stern has been taken off the air in several venues for indecency.

My thoughts on these events are:
?Hahahaha??
?What a shame??
?Finally!…?

But not necessarily in that order.

I met with Dr.K today and we discussed the clusterfuck that?s going on at work right now. He was really helpful and supportive, and gave me some good insight about how academia functions much of the time.

As I am finding out, clusterfuck is truly an appropriate word for it all. Heh.

I?m going to try not to think about any of this for the next week and give myself a little mental vacation from it all. (Plop! Just pulled the last tenacious pup off my mama-dog teat. Shoo now, puppy…)

I took these quizzies tonight and they made me smile. Try ?em! You might smile too.

You’re Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you’re
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You’d
be recognized as such if you weren’t always talking about talking rabbits.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

You’re South Africa!
After almost endless suffering, you’ve finally freed yourself
from the oppression that somehow held you back. Now your diamond in the rough is shining through, and the world can accept you for who you really are. You were trying to show who you were to the world, but they weren’t interested in helping you become that until it was almost too late. Suddenly you’re a very hopeful person, even if you still have some troubles.

Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Raveling…

February 25, 2004 | 3 Comments

Or is it unraveling? I?m never sure. If you look in a dictionary, they mean the same thing.

Anyway, I?m doing one or the other. I?m slowly coming undone and that?s probably not a bad thing. It lets off a little tension, you know?

I’m so glad Spring Break is almost here. This has been the most difficult semester of teaching so far. There have been drastic budget cuts at the college and nearly every member of the adjunct faculty has taken a hit in their work hours (or will soon.)

As far as I know, I am scheduled to teach 3 classes in the fall, but if they hire a new full-time graphic design instructor over the summer, I may be cut back to 2 classes. And if the higher-ups decide that some of the courses in the new Integrated Visual Arts curriculum should only be taught by tenured or tenure-track faculty members, I?ll probably be cut back to 1 class.

Which sucks. I love my job. I enjoy teaching and I love interacting with my students. I would miss it greatly.

What sucks even more is that the school that I considered to be my local home for many years now isn?t anything like it used to be when I attended here. (Or maybe it?s always been this way and I just never saw it when I was a student.) In any case, it pains me to think of how strong and innovative the Fine Arts department was only about a decade ago — and now it’s being dissolved. Worse yet, it’s remnants are now be combined with the leftovers of the Communication department in order to spawn this bizarre new hybrid major. It’s extremely difficult to watch.

The uncertainty of it all pisses me off, too. I was just starting to get used to having extra money and actually planning on fun things we could do with it. Like replace my 12 year old car. Or finally take a big trip. And having the financial means to move far away from the Sucky Neighbors if it becomes unbearable again (and you know it will) was also a secure feeling. All of that is on hold now.

So, I?ve been keeping all of this tension over the cutback situation inside until tonight. I tell you, Agent J should win a Nobel Prize for Peace ? he was so patient as he listened to me rant and growl. And he was so sweet when he hugged me and told me everything would be ok no matter what.

I know what he said is true; we always do well and always land on our feet. I was just looking forward to feeling more settled in my teaching position by this time, and instead it?s precisely the opposite. I guess more patience is in order.

This could also be God?s funny little way of saying ?Get your ass back in the studio and PAINT, woman! You?re wasting time!?

(Sometimes he has to yell really loud to get my attention. Hee.)

Anyway, I should close this for now and try to get some sleep. There will be lots of time to continue unraveling tomorrow, if necessary. Thanks for reading it all so far. ~ ~ ~

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Legal Predictions, 2004

February 23, 2004 | 1 Comment

Martha Stewart : Guilty, no jail time, community service up the wazoo. Will be forced to scrub armpit sweat stains out of the clothes of homeless people for 2000 hours or until she passes out from the stench. Will be revived with a bucket of dirty scrub-water then told to ?Keep working, Diva??

Jayson Williams: Guilty. Sentenced to 20 years, will serve 12. (Hey, it was just a chauffeur he killed…*ahem*) Will renounce the Christian religion and never wear that phony, magic-charm crucifix on his lapel in public again.

Robert Blake: Will kill himself before the case ever goes to trial. Final legacy will be that he was a neurotic little shithead who murdered his wife. Did the crime, but couldn?t bear to do the time. And that?s the name of that tune.

Scott Peterson: Will be found guilty of something less than first-degree murder, thus saving his cheating, sociopathic ass from the death penalty. (Why less than first degree murder? Because the trial is in California, the land of fruits, nuts and no common sense.) Peterson will be sentenced to 25 years, with the possibility of parole after 18. He will be crowned ?Best Lay in Maximum Security? within the first year, and will get shivved by some jealous guy named Julio for stealing his title. Peterson will never recover from his agonizing, pus-filled wounds after years of suffering, and Julio will regain his well-deserved, freckle-punching crown.

Michael Jackson: Will be found innocent by reason of insanity and will begin to serve out his mental health rehab time in some swanky celebrity nut house. Rehab will be cut short, however, when Jacko wiggles his skeletal frame through a keyhole and escapes. He will elude authorities for the rest of his life, but will live on forever as the legendary monster ?Mr. Jackmaster? ? the monster who sneaks into the bedrooms of little boys and licks their sheets at night, leaving small wet spots and a spangled glove behind as a signature calling card to the event.

Saddam Hussein: I can?t think of anything right now as that last bit about Michael Jackson freaked me out too bad.

I think it was the part about licking the sheets that did it.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized