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Bleh.

July 31, 2004 | 1 Comment

Why haven?t I been updating? Because there?s been absolutely nothing going on for the past two days. It?s driving me nuts and starting to piss me off a little, too. All I?ve been doing is reading, taking walks, writing, sketching, and sleeping. There?s so much energy now, but it doesn?t have a place to go. Worse yet, I feel as if I?m starting to isolate again and I don?t know why.

I long for the isolation, but dread it at the same time. It?s probably necessary for me – for some odd reason – but it doesn?t always feel healthy. When I go into seclusion my mind will chew on every thought like a rabid dog until I am exhausted. Then I?ll cry, cry, cry, take a few deep breaths, and rejoin society again. It?s like I need to hole up for a while to figure out stuff that I can?t seem to talk about out loud.

In fact, it?s as if there are no words to describe what I am feeling even if I wanted to talk about it with someone.

I think Monday will be a good day to gas up the car and go for a day-long drive. Maybe the change of scenery will shake something loose.

More again soon. You know me? I?m never quiet for too long.

Thursday’s Child is apparently a nutjob.

July 29, 2004 | 6 Comments

Alrighta… I took this personality test and I am still trying to decipher the results. From what I can tell, I am like one of those freakass people that you see sitting in a booth in a diner, brooding over a cup of coffee and plotting the murder of some unsuspecting jerk who cut them off in traffic.

Yep. It fits me to a *tee*. Better watch your back if you see me writing down your license plate number, cha-cha.

I have a rant that is bubbling to the surface. Please bear with me. I’m so disgusted by this one, I may have to write a few letters complaining to the proper channels instead of just blathering in the wind here.

Who in the hell decided that it’s somehow appropriate, appetizing, or conducive to sales to amplify the sounds of people eating, chewing, or swallowing in TV commericals?!

I mean, EWwww. It’s just GROSS, you stupid advertising people. KNOCK IT OFF. NOW.

Hardee’s and their big, sloppy “thick burgers” have been the most offensive so far, what with Mark McGuire chomping on a pickle slice and sounding like a complete hog… and now they have one with some mega-rotund pregnant lady shoving fries in her mouth and chew-squish-slurping them around like it’s her last fucking meal on earth.

There’s also an irritating Hershey’s Chocolate commercial where some dweebish chick brags about making s’mores better than her boyfriend (boy, he must be a real genius) then proceeds to snarf and crunch on the s’mores she’s been nervously caressing since the beginning of the ad.

And cereal commericals! Arrrrrgh. Let’s not even go there.

Gawdamn, people. Shut your mouths when you eat and chew. It’s not a desirable trait to sound like a starving goat when you consume food. Didn’t your mama teach you better than that? Didn’t your kindergarten teacher ever glare at you for sucking down a carton of milk like it was still a teat on the cow?

And it’s not just limited to food sometimes. There are Listerine commericials that have sent me running out of the room gagging. The guy stands there for the entire length of the ad, swishing and swirling mouthwash around in his big cake-hole, looking like he is almost going to vomit himself, and the sound is so amplified that everyone within earshot is just begging for this guy to spit SPIT S P I T the vile liquid out!

I’m telling you, people in advertising are blood-sucking degradations to society. They’ll do anything to make a buck. The next thing you know, they will be putting out commercials with real-life bathroom noises just to see if it will sell more toilet paper or tampons.

Mark my words, America — it’s on the way.

Blown dry

July 28, 2004 | 5 Comments

I am totally loving this 8+ hours of deep sleep I am getting each night from using the new CPAP machine ? however there are some side effects that will take some getting used to.

First, I am so wide awake now during the daytime that I can clearly see everything in the house that needs to be dusted. Of course, I?m not dusting the stuff; I?m just saying?

Next, there is no daydreaming anymore. None whatsoever. It?s All Alert, All the Time for Ms. Pink. Sometimes a girl just needs a fucking break from reality, you know? Now I am starting to realize why some people drink or do drugs. The world can be a painfully harsh place when it?s not covered with a thick layer of mental fog.

So, I am dusty and fogless. I am also oh, so dry.

My sinuses have not been this snotless in 30 years. It?s sort of a pleasure-pain. I am able to breathe freely, which is a joy, but I suspect my sinus cavities are building up a blown-dry layer of petrified snot. I bet it looks like a cave up there, with stalactites and stalagmites forming huge dangerous points that threaten to penetrate to my brain if I should happen to sneeze the wrong way.

I could be exaggerating, but I don?t think so.

Plus, my ears feel oddly pressurized and I swear to God, I could feel tiny puffs of air escaping from my tear ducts last night as I wore ?the hose?. My tear ducts, people! I hope this doesn?t cause any permanent damage. I hope I will not be rendered tearless because of my need for oxygen and sleep.

Am I going to have to go through life wide-awake, totally aware of all of the insanity around me and no longer be able to cry about it!?

Never fear ? I?m sure I?ll still be able to whine, so my blogging will be just as wonderful as always? but apparently I will never have a use for Kleenex ever again.

I went out and did a bunch of stuff today, because I am now more hyperactive than ever.
Lookie here at the view from my new office window? click the pic!

You don?t get the full vertigo effect from just looking at the photo, but when you are standing in front of the window — which is about 8 x 4 feet ? and the cars are zooming by? woo hoo! Or it could be that I am the only one who feels dizzy because I have had my inner ears totally obliterated from ?the hose.?

Monday?s entry. (How?s that for a creative title?)

July 26, 2004 | 3 Comments

Michael Moore has been denied credentials to participate in the Democratic National Convention. He?s ?done more to galvanize the (Democratic Party) than anyone else,? and they are treating him like the town pariah now.

Now that’s a shame. A big, funny, shows-you-how-loyal-the-Democrats-are shame.

And while I have your attention…

Agent J forwarded this bit of humor to me. He leaves such lovely things in my email box. I have to say, if I were a burglar these would definitely deter me.

You may have to try the link a couple of times. It seems to be quite busy.

Can?t stand someone? Go imagine them six feet under.

Ok, the fact that the baby is screaming like a maniac isn?t all that funny? but look at his forehead! HAhahaha! What the hell is up with that? Maybe all babies have this and we’ve just never noticed it before.

Finally… remember that official presidential portrait of Bill Clinton that was inveiled at the White House about a month ago? Here’s a chance to see it in detail.

*tee-hee*

Late Feastin’…

July 25, 2004 | 4 Comments

I hear your brain growling for something to digest… here we go with the Friday’s Feast!

Appetizer:
Name something you’ve done that made you feel guilty.

Oh geez? do I have to? I usually don?t regret much in my life, however, about a year ago I received a package in the mail from a company that I do business with ? that was addressed to me ? but wasn?t something that I ordered. It contained a bunch of stuff I?d never buy for myself , but was pretty neat. I called the post office and asked them if I was legally obligated to return the merchandise, and the post master said that no, I wasn?t.

So I kept it.

I?ve never done anything like this in my life and I?m not sure why I did it this time. I could probably return 99% of the items (because they remained unopened), but I?m not sure if I will. Maybe I?ll just give the stuff away.

(See the poll in the bottom left of this page to help with me my moral dilemma. Poll will run for 1 week!)

Soup:
If you could get rid of one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be, and what would you put in its place?

Gah. The bed in the master bedroom ? it?s really nothing more than the platform and drawers from our very ancient waterbed. It?s.GOT.To.GO. I would replace it with something like this:

Salad:
Imagine you’ve won a contest to be a featured guest on any television sitcom or drama show. On which one would you want to be a guest star?

Yeah, I realize that ?Seinfeld? is only in syndication now, but I think I would have been a great character on that show. I could have played the neighbor in Jerry?s apartment building that totally foiled all of Newman?s evil plans by snitching on him. Usually fate took care of Newman, but sometimes fate could use a hand. I could do that.

Main Course:
Create a cereal. Tell us what you’d name it and what ingredients would be included.

It would be a cold cereal. .. oat- based, with chocolate-chips, toasted coconut and pecans. I?d call it: German-Chocolate Pecan Nummies. Ideas like this, my friends, is one of the reasons I could never be a dietician.

Dessert:
Describe the most memorable night of your life so far.

I?ve had lots of unforgettable ones, but there is one that is most memorable for it’s visual aspects.

That night I went on an hours-long walk with a friend of mine all along the river front sculpture park in Windsor, Ontario. The Ambassador Bridge, which connects Canada to the USA, was all lit up, and across the river was the Detroit skyline. It was absolutely gorgeous.

Other things that made it a great night: the weather was perfect with crisp, cool September air, and I felt somehow daring yet protected being with my friend and having an adventure in another country. (Hey, I know Canada isn?t that far away, but at the time it was a major adventure for me!) I?m usually not a person you?ll find walking the riverfront in a big, strange city at 2 a.m.

I think it?s intriguing how the most memorable events in my life have often been the most dangerous or risky ones. It makes me wonder what my life would be like if I didn?t pay so much attention to the rules.

Nevermind. I?d probably be some crackho living in downtown Los Angeles. Or I’d be a toothless bum, lying in the gutter and begging passersby for pennies so I could buy a bowl of those German-Chocolate Pecan Nummies.

We don?t want to go there.

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