Another.

August 31, 2004 | 2 Comments

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Down the Path

Photoshop CS Digital Collage

343 x 573 pixels

August 31, 2004


I’m not sure why, but I’m kind of glad that my shrink isn’t viewing these. (You aren’t, are you Dr. K?) I feel very exposed right now and would dread having to decipher this latest image.

Early Morning Creating

August 31, 2004 | 2 Comments

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Workhorse

Photoshop CS Digital Collage
400 x 537 pixels
August 31, 2004


I guess this is what the previous kitten and rabbit collages were leading up to. :wink:

Grinding away.

August 31, 2004 | 1 Comment

I went to the otolaryngologist today ? I know, I was stunned, too! I actually got an appointment on the first call. He did the complete ear-nose-throat exam. No infections, whatsoever. He said that he?s 100% sure that I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint) syndrome. Which is a fancy way of saying: Your jaw joints are swollen and hurt like a mofo because you are clenching and grinding your teeth at night. He said that even the tissues surrounding the carotid arteries are swollen and that is probably what is causing the dizziness.

He then went on to say that I?ve probably always had TMJ syndrome, but before I started using the CPAP I probably just slept with my mouth slightly open, so I never had a chance to grind my teeth like this. Plus, if I did happen to, I most likely wrote off the morning pain as a stiff neck or sinus problems.

His solution for now is to take conservative treatments for the next two weeks: a ?no chew? diet, limit caffeine intake, eliminate as much stress as possible, take up to 2000 mg of Motrin a day for the pain, and apply moist heat compresses 2 times a day.

?No chew? diet, ya say, Doc? I can?t recall the last time that I was prescribed ice cream, puddings, soup, popsicles, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, rice and bananas by a doctor. What? No rice cakes, carrot sticks and as much air as I want to swallow? It was rather nice to eat a dish of vanilla ice cream tonight without extreme fat-girl guilt ruining the entire experience.

I think the only thing I?ll have trouble with is eliminating the excess stress, because right now it seems like it?s here to stay for awhile. Hopefully more exercise will help in that area.

Anyway, if the pain hasn?t lessened by mid September, then I?m supposed to call back for another appointment.

I?m also going to call my dentist tomorrow (he also treats TMJ) and see what help he can offer. He?ll probably want me to wear an appliance at night, and come up with a contraption that will eerily resemble a ball gag, but at this point I don?t care. It doesn’t bother me if I look like some S&M freak… Just make the jaw pain stopppppp, dude.


I?m planning a short road trip tomorrow to visit a needlework shop in a nearby town. I haven?t been doing any embroidery lately, and I?m thinking picking it up again would be a great way to relax during those times when my brain just won?t turn off the worry mode. I?ll let you know if I find an interesting project to start.

That?s all for now, my friends. More again soon.~ ~ ~

PS. :thanku: Thank you to everyone who is sending good wishes and positive energy my Mom’s way. I’ll pass it on to her in some subtle manner. It would freak her out too much if I told her that people she’s never met are praying for her and her sick boobie.

The 7 Deadly Sins

August 29, 2004 | 5 Comments

This is as close to religion as I’m getting today, heathen that I am. :wink:
7 DEADLY SINS

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?

My dad. He said some real stupid bullshit yesterday about weight loss surgery and dieting when I was talking to him on the phone. I?m sure he was trying to be funny, but sometimes I?d like to tell him to shut up.

2. What is your weapon of choice?

My disarming charm combined with my acerbic wit.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?

Only if they hit me first. Then I?d go all ?Fargo? on their ass.

4. How about of the same sex?

Again, only if they hit me first. My guess is that it would only take one good smack upside the head from me before they realized they had made a huge mistake.

5. Who was the last person that got really angry at you?

That chick in the gold Honda Accord, when I told her at the stoplight that she was a fucking road hazard for paying more attention to that ice cream cone she was slurping rather than watching her driving.

I kid you not, my friends ? she was on one of the busiest streets in college town, at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon, and every time she licked the ice cream cone she was working on she swerved and stepped on the brakes. Every. Damn.Time. People in all four lanes were practically driving off the road to avoid her.

Little Miss Cone-Licker was highly annoyed that I had the nerve to say anything about her reckless driving. Too bad, bitch. Deal with it.

6. What is your pet peeve?

Ugh. Flies that land on the edge of my drinking cup or plate. That is the only reason I hate going on picnics.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?

It depends on who pissed me off and what they did. If someone is careless with my heart, I tend to hold a grudge for a while. However, the moment they demonstrate sincere remorse, I forgive them, and tell them so. Notice I said demonstrate ? as in: actions speak louder than words, cha-cha. A simple ?Sorry? isn?t going to cut it.

In other non-heart matters, I am pretty quick to forgive and forget. Some stuff simply isn?t worth getting all worked up over.

SLOTH

1.What is one thing you?re supposed to do daily that you haven?t done in a long time?

Write in my offline journal. But hell, I can only come up with so many words in a single day, you know?

2. What is the latest you?ve ever woken up?

Around 7 pm. Seriously! But that was back when my insomnia was going full force and I probably hadn?t slept in 48 hours anyway.

For me, waking time is never a good indicator of sloth. However, most members of my family think it is and will ridicule anyone who sleeps past 7:00 am. (Fuck ?em. I like eating breakfast by myself anyway.)

3. Name a person you?ve been meaning to contact, but haven?t.

Here?s the list:
Jake
Ashleigh
Lee
Beth
Betty
Both of my sisters
Barbara
Frje

4. What is the last lame excuse you?ve made?

I don?t make excuses, lame or otherwise. I explain myself, apologize for any inconvenience and if the other person doesn?t accept it, that?s their problem.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?

Yes, I have! Then I bought the product as well. It was for Bare Essentials cosmetics, and they are the only brand I?ve used ever since. Very good stuff ? perfect for a natural, non-made-up look.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?

Not since last week. I went for a long walk on Wednesday, but have felt like crap since that time with this middle ear stuff. I?m hoping I can get back on schedule this week.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

Alarm clock? Never on a Sunday, baby! But I do recall hitting the snoozer 5 times one morning last week, and it felt goooooood.

GLUTTONY

1.What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?

Bottled water. There is no way in the world that I?m drinking water from those ancient lead pipes in my office building on campus. Blech. I swear it actually has chunks in it.

2. White meat or dark meat?

White, but I do enjoy some of the dark meat on a turkey especially if it?s been roasting in the pan juices all day.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you?ve had in one sitting/outing/event?

It?s a very fuzzy memory, but I faintly recall drinking an entire bottle of red wine once during my initial college attempt at Iowa State. Good Lord. Let?s just say that the next 2-3 days were not pleasant. Even now if I catch a whiff of red wine it makes my stomach lurch a bit. Taking communion wine during my organized religion days was an act of faith in more ways than one. The mental memory has faded, but this body never forgets.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?

Of course. I?m a fat American woman, how could I have ever avoided using a diet company during my lifetime?

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?

*SMACK* Silly person. Next question.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?

I prefer savory, spicy, and zesty foods. I would overeat on cheese and crackers before I would on cake or cookies.

7. Have you ever taken food ?to go? from a buffet?

Ewww? no. That?s a pretty tacky thing to do, in my opinion. I guess I could forgive a really poor person from doing it, though. Maybe they don?t know where their next meal is coming from.

LUST

1.How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?

Oh, I?ve seen a whole lot of nekkidity in my day! Probably too many people to count. Being a Life Drawing teacher for a couple of years allows one to see more buttage than the average person gets to. And you are required to stare at the buttage too ? how cool is that?!

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?

A few, I suppose. I don?t have to worry, though. Most of them turned to stone and can no longer tell the horrible tale of the horrible tail.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?

Hee! I think I look for high-beams and camel-toe on women just as much as men probably do. It used to bother me that I did it, but now I accept it. And when I’m talking with a guy, yes, I usually sneak a casual glance downward. :blush: What can I say? The sensual shapes of the human body fascinates me, male or female.

4. Have you wanted someone who was taken?

Yep. But not bad enough to lose my common sense or integrity over it.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?

I love the arms and shoulders on men, especially if the arms are long and the shoulders are strong.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

Gah! No! I tend to avoid situations where skanks (male or female) would gather.

7. Have you ever had a one night stand?

No.

GREED

1.How many credit cards do you own?

I own one and so does Agent J; that?s all we need. We throw away at least 10 junk mail offers a week for them. I can?t understand what other people are thinking when they have a thick wad of credits cards and can?t pay the monthly minimum on any of them.

2. What?s your guilty pleasure?

Things made of leather. I love leather furniture, purses, small accessories? just about anything, as long as the leather is soft, buttery and comes in a beautiful color. I?ve been collecting pink leather items lately. I think it may be an addiction.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?

Buy The Count his car as promised, of course. Then I?d buy 20 acres in the country and build a house smack dab in the middle of it, with a huge studio for me and the perfect woodshop for Agent J. After that, I?d pay off my student loans, pay a deserving kid?s way through college, and make a generous donation to a good charity.

I?ve always wanted to leave a hard-working waitress a HUGE tip, too, so I guess I?d be going out to dinner once in a while just to do some scouting.

4. Would you rather be rich or famous?

I?d rather be rich. When you are rich, you have ?fuck you? money and no one messes with you. I wouldn?t want the public attention that comes along with fame. Some of The Public is nuts, you know.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?

Naw. I couldn?t stand wasting my time like that.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?

Yes, many things, decades ago. I honestly think I was ?acting out? as therapists like to say these days. It was weird; even when I was stealing something I was wondering why I was doing it and how I could get rid if whatever it was afterwards.

7. How many mp3?s are on your hard drive?

Just a few on this laptop comp, but about 2700 on my studio computer upstairs. Ah, the good old days of Napster!:clapping:

PRIDE

1.What?s one thing you have done that you?re most proud of?

I?m very proud of graduating from Notre Dame. It was an incredibly difficult time in my life and getting through that dysfunctional hell-hole was truly a test of my courage and strength. So when people act all impressed by my Notre Dame credentials (and amazingly, they do) I just think to myself? ?Oh, you have no idea, honey??

2. What?s one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?

I married the Perfect Son In Law.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?

I want to regain my physical health, and after that I feel I?ll be able to accomplish just about anything else I want to quite easily.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?

No, not really. I?m not that competitive ? and besides, maybe a first place win for someone else will be a positive, life-changing moment. Every hard working person deserves the spotlight and blue ribbon once in a while!

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?

Just that Big Wheel race with those preschoolers the other day? I made ?em look bad! Sent ?em home crying to mommy! :nananaf:

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?

I remember cheating in a Monopoly game once when I was a teenager just to piss off my little sister. Deb loves board games and hates to lose at them. It was actually pretty funny to see how riled up she just got when I whupped her butt, and even funnier to see how livid she was when I told her I cheated to win ? after a few days of gloating, of course.

7. What did you do today that you?re proud of?

I reached out and encouraged someone that needed it.

ENVY

1. What item of your friend?s would you most want to have for your own?

Zub’s MG. That thing would look wicked painted hot pink.:wink:

2. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?

The person who will get to push the plunger on the lethal injection that kills Scott Peterson. Isn’t that awful? I swear I have thought about it, though.

3. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yep.

4. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Yep.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have crystal blue eyes. I bet it would be very striking with my skin and hair coloration.

6. What trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

What?s the opposite of procrastination? I can?t think of a good word for it. I see people who don?t procrastinate, though, and I admire that. I want it for myself.

Maybe they are more courageous and diligent than I am. That?s what I want: courage and diligence!

What is your favorite deadly sin?

Without a doubt, I am a lust weasel.

From Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary:

Lust : sinful longing; the inward sin which leads to the falling away from God (Rom. 1:21). “Lust, the origin of sin, has its place in the heart, not of necessity, but because it is the centre of all moral forces and impulses and of spiritual activity.”

In Mark 4:19 “lusts” are objects of desire.

I fully admit to being lustful, as I long for many things. However, conquering the unhealthy lusts has really taught me wonderful things about myself, so I wouldn?t have it any other way.


Oh.. my …goodness. I think I am all typed out for the day! I hope you had a nice weekend and that your Monday turns out well, too. May you see high-beams and cameltoes as often as you desire. :laugh:


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Well, alrighty then.

August 29, 2004 | 6 Comments

I?m sitting here trying to come up with something cheery to write about instead of what is swimming around in my brain.

Eh. I give up. Here it is:

My mom called Saturday morning and told us that the docter found a lump in her breast earlier this week and that it’s cancer. They’ve caught it in the very early stages, so her chances of surviving it are good. She goes next Friday to see a surgeon. They’ll decide then whether to do a lumpectomy/radiation treatment or remove the breast entirely. My maternal grandma, great-grandma and great-great grandma all died of cancer (that began in the breast), so I’m not sure what my mom will decide to do. I’m sure she and Dad are scared out of their wits, but they’re doing a good job of not showing it.

Suddenly being fat with sore ears, a few pimples and wrinkles seems shameful to whine about.

I?m sure I?ll be more talkative soon. Right now my mind is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

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