Fives, fives, and more fives
September 28, 2004 | 3 Comments
Five details about you…
? I am a classic Virgo.
? I?m usually the tallest woman in the room.
? And the widest.
? I?m right-handed most of the time.
? I giggle when I am nervous.
Five details about your appearance right now…
? Yellow t-shirt
? Blue jeans
? Barefoot
? Bra-less
? Smiling!
Five things you did today…
? Perused textbooks for next semester?s class.
? Sold some junque on eBay.
? Went to therapy and discussed the past week in detail. (Ugh)
? Made some really good spaghetti.
? Wrote about secret things.
Five memorable things you did in the last year…
? Remained straight-faced during Daddy Bill?s rant about the new $20 bills being implanted with a tracking device so those Republican Bastards can tell if you are hoarding them.
? Used my incredible mental prowess on several occasions to restrain myself from mass-murdering the Sucky Neighbors.
? Put the finishing touches on my sinister plot to take over the world.
? Sent flowers anonymously to a friend, then watched with secret delight when she “ooooh-ed” and “ahhhh-ed” over them.
? Hurricane Charley? That was really me.
Five things that everyone should know about you…
? You can only wake me up by patting the bottom of my feet. For some reason everything else fails.
? Never, ever sneak up on me if you know what?s good for you.
? I can turn the world on with my smile.
? You can tell me the most unlovable thing about yourself, and I?ll still love you.
? I rant because I care.
Five things that make you happy…
? Very blue eyes
? More cowbell!
? A painting turning out beautifully
? Synchronicity
? Singing along with my favorite songs, good and loud.
Five people who mean a lot to you…
? Let?s just say that I am spiritually bonded to hundreds of wonderful people. Watch out, you may be one of them!
Five things that disgust you…
? People who make excessive, sloppy noises when they eat. Gah!
? People (especially women) who make stupid life choices then constantly bitch about the results.
? Whining, my own included.
? Political liberals who are so ?open-minded? that their brains have fallen out.
? Wishy-washy indecisiveness. Choose already you stupid dork!
Five things you can’t live without?
? Apparently, my computers
? Apparently, the demon ambrosia, Chocolate
? Apparently, therapy
? Apparently, the color pink
? Most definitely, God.
Back on this side of Iowa again.
September 27, 2004 | Leave a Comment
Oh, the busy-ness. I?m glad that this past week is over and I can sit for a minute and allow my brain to catch up with the rest of me.
As some of you may recall, I was scheduled to travel to Madison last week for a bariatric surgery seminar. I went, and it was very good. I met the two surgeons who are heading up the minimally invasive surgery center there and got to know them a little bit. The next step is filing all of my health information with them and setting up a private consultation.
I really don?t think there is enough time left for me to have the lap-band operation before school starts next semester — everything involving the insurance company takes so !@#$% long! ? so it looks like it won?t be happening until next spring now.
I have to keep reminding my frustrated old self that the timing of this is really out of my hands. All I can do is file papers, make phone calls, and get myself ready for the surgery no matter how far off it may be.
The weekend with The ?Rents went pretty well. Mama Dory is recuperating nicely ? I even got to see the boob scar. (FAINT!) I had a bi-lateral breast reduction in 1999, and that was pretty intense, but for some reason I am able to view my own surgical sites with a cool distance. Looking at my mom?s stitched and bruised ouchie made me light-headed, though. I felt like I was going to hit the floor.
It?s probably the same queasy feeling a man gets when he sees some guy on America?s Funniest Home Videos get whapped in the nuts with a kid?s plastic baseball bat.
Oh, the breathtaking events that the human body endures!
It truly is quite miraculous when you stop and think about it.
Big Daddy Bill was fairly well-mannered the entire weekend. I really wasn?t sure what to expect. I never do with him.
He only tried to start arguments with me 3 times, and each time it was about politics ? a topic that I have trained myself to avoid whenever I am around my liberal family. I didn?t take the bait, though, and I think it frustrated him that I didn’t feel like getting into a debate with him.
Once when we were alone on Saturday, I asked my mom why dad always tries to start shit with me, and she said ?He just loves to argue, especially with women. I don?t know why ? he just does. Always has.?
I told my mom that I thought it was one fucking weird hobby to have. She laughed, but then agreed with me.
I can honestly say that I have only heard my parents have 1 serious argument in my entire life, and it was over something to do with my older sister who was a rebellious teenager at the time. Other than that, they are generally very loving to each other in their own squirrelly way.
So this leads me to believe that my dad only likes to argue with women other than my mom. For some reason he enjoys selecting and conquering females with his ?superior? intellect. 
As I think back over the years, I can recall him having heated debates with almost every outspoken woman in my immediate and extended family. (Believe me; most of my female relatives are opinionated bitches ? but somehow you don?t look too surprised at that news. Heh.)
I don?t know why he is like this, but I have to say it has really had a negative effect on me throughout my life. It?s made me fear him at times. Like I could say the wrong thing and I would be annihilated. It?s made me want to stay away from home for long periods of time, which is something I don?t really want to do anymore.
I?m not sure where I am going with this right now, I guess I just need to vent. My weekly therapy appointment isn?t until tomorrow, so you all are getting the pre-storm. Poor Dr. K will be the one dealing with it all when Hurricane Pink makes landfall around 11 a.m. Iowa time on Tuesday.
I am so proud of Randy and Maizey for making it through their first weekend alone in the house ? without incident! I wasn?t sure what we were going to come home to. I was picturing mini-blinds ripped down, flames shooting out the windows, shredded furniture, un-potted plants, or at least a stray poo pile as revenge for abandoning the big babies. Nothing! They were little angels. Either that or we just haven?t stumbled upon their handiwork yet?
Ah, it?s good to be back home — where the worst thing I have to fear is a possible hairball waiting for me in a darkened room, while I tromp around in my barefeet.
More again soon, my friends. ~~
Feline excursions
September 22, 2004 | 3 Comments
The trip to the vet went pretty well. I was amazed ? there wasn?t a peep out of the Dynamic Duo until I pulled into the parking lot. I honestly think they were in shock just at the thought of being outdoors, even in a cat carrier. They are definitely indoor felines. Randy and Maizey looooooooove being in the house. They consider themselves to be the absolute rulers of The Swankienda and have seemingly no interest in ever leaving its confines.
Yet, apparently their kingdom extends to any structure with a roof and walls, because once they got inside the vet clinic they acted like they owned the place. I opened the door of the cage so the receptionist could pet Randy, and he slipped out and started sashaying up and down the front desk like Miss America, purring for his adoring public. (Yeah, I know, that?s some gender tangling there, but he is kind of a swishy little boy if you ask me.)
Maizey started in with all sorts of vocalizing, which is extremely rare for her when she?s around strangers. She mewed, chirped and chattered like she was telling stories that she?s been dying to tell someone ? anyone! ? who will listen.
?I have a red mousie and I play with it every day and beat it senseless I think it even cried once and there is a rabbit who lives under the kitchen window and I want it soooooo bad but it probably has cooties and who wants to play with someone who has cooties? and I have a green hairbrush that I chew on when I want someone to brush me and Mommy gives me dried tuna flakes for a treat but we must be out of them right now because I haven?t had a treat in nearly 3 whole days do you have treats here treats treats *sniffle* treeeeeats??
Oh, the staff and the Doc just loved those two clowns. And the love appeared to be a mutual thing.
Aside from all of the adoration, Randy and Maizey got their yearly physicals, rabies shots, feline leukemia vaccinations, and another booster vaccination (which I always call the ?alphabet soup shot? because there are about 20 letters in the name) and then they were weighed and measured. Plus they got a crunchy little treat, which they both gobbled down like starving alley cats.
Grand total: $105.00!
They should have thrown in a wash and wax on their furry butts for that price.
Oh, I bitch, but they?re worth every penny. These two kitties are so very loving, comforting, entertaining, and cuddly. They have been such a blessing to our home.
And they?re still a hell of a lot cheaper (and much less harrowing) than having kids. Hehe. It’s still a toss up whether cleaning the funky cat box is better than changing stanky diapers, though.
Way out and about
September 20, 2004 | Leave a Comment
An interesting jaunt coming up tomorrow ? Randy and Maizey take their first trip to the vet since their snip-snip visits last fall. I?m curious to see how they will react to the cat carrier and the ride, which thankfully is only about 2-3 miles away.
I?m predicting Miss Maizey will hide in the corner with her face buried in the blanket. Randy will probably yowl and scream the entire way with his front paws poked through the door grate, swinging wildly at anything he can reach.
Which reminds me: got to trim that boy?s claws tonight. Right now his nails are like fish hooks; woe be to anyone who tries to restrain the Great Randini! A bloody death shall be their fate!
I talked with my mentor/colleague Tom today. I?m going to be teaching Late Modern Art history next semester for sure. Thank goodness.
I definitely needed this semester off to work through some shit, but it?s not good for me to be out of circulation for very long. I get depressed. And weird. And depressed again.
Funny I should mention depression. Hah.
I went to see Dr. K today. This session was even worse than the last. (And except for my birthday last week, which was wonderful and fun, the entire month of September has pretty much sucked shit.) I?m not doing very well since I?ve gone off the supplemental anti-depressants I had been taking from January ? July. Red flags must have been going off for Dr. K during our meeting because he advised me to see the drug doctor and re-start the meds as soon as possible. I?ve also been placed back on a weekly talk-therapy basis as well.
I hate the fact that I rarely see the red flags before everyone else does. Oh, I see a little flicker of crimson out of the corner of my eye, but it?s easy to deny and I make it go away with the impressive powers of my mind.
However, other people in my life see the red flags flying around like a toreador?s cape in a fucking bullring.
Being so out of touch with my own state of mind is distressing to say the least.
But on the positive side of things, I am really liking the squishy new couch Dr. K got to replace Old Orange at the previous office. Which is good thing, because it seems like I?ll be spending a lot of time with it.
That?s all from the frontline for now, kids. More again soon. ~ ~ ~
Tune-loony in the A.M.
September 20, 2004 | 10 Comments
Has anyone else been looking for this song? Earlier this year, Mercedes-Benz introduced a new commercial and the accompanying music was this raspy voiced woman singing an absolutely haunting love song. I?ve been trying to find out more about the damn thing ever since.
Well, I finally found it about 30 minutes ago. It?s called ?Amazed? and it?s sung by an artist named Mozella. It was especially created for the advertisement, so no wonder it was nearly impossible to trace! Of course, I?ve listened to it ten times already and the lyrics are burned into my brain. Heh. Here they are…
Your picture is on my wall
It helps me remember you
And I recall
How I?m amazed
I still love you the same.
Yeah, I?m amazed –
I still love you the same.
I still remember
The shape of your hands
The times when you?d walk with me
And make me laugh
And I?m amazed
At how much we?ve changed.
Yeah, I?m amazed –
I still love you the same.
And each night
I see you
In my sleep
And I always dream that
You?re here with me.
And I?m amazed –
I still love you the same
Yeah, I?m amazed –
I still love you the same.
Now go to iTunes, download the song and burn these lyrics into your brain as well. I don?t want to be in the obsession all alone, you know.
Welcome to the here and now.
My name is Christine Thurow and I am a professional artist, living in my lovely home state of Iowa. My humor is sarcastic, my wit dry and my appetite for unbridled hedonism, ravenous. Did I say hedonism? I meant intelligent exchange.
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