I apologize, Texas. (Kinda.)

October 31, 2004 | 2 Comments

Um… HAHahaha! These are *so* bad, but I’m posting them anyway. Note the wings on his back and the hideous blue eye-shadow… sex-ayyy!

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Daddy Bill as his original Superhero creation, The Texas Bar-fly

And of course, like any good Texas Bar-fly would do, he lets all the hot young studs squeeze his melons — Cost? Just 1 shot of tequila!

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Daddy Bill and my cousin, Jack, getting their squeeze on.

Did that spook ya? It damn well should! My old man dressed up in drag, wearing wings, and looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show on a drunken bender in Tijuana! It’s enough to give anyone nightmares — especially my therapist.

Have a happy night… don’t let The Texas Bar-Flies bite…

.?:*??*:?. HAPPY HALLOWEEN .?:*??*:?.

October 31, 2004 | 2 Comments

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I hope everyone has a very FUN and very SAFE Halloween. May you get enough candy to keep you bouncing off the walls for weeks! (Hooray for full-sized candy bars!)

Remember a while back when I told you about Daddy Bill dressing up for a Halloween party as his own creation, “The Texas Barfly”..? Well, I found a couple of pictures of the big goof. Hee hee. I’m going to scan them and post ‘em later on tonight. OOooo, scary!

More later, my ghosts and ghouls…

Meme in the A.M.

October 30, 2004 | 5 Comments

And now for your pondering pleasure, this little meme. Please hold your applause til the end. Thank you. (Covetously snagged from Jen the Piehole!)

Name THREE of your…

Pet Peeves:
People who choose to remain victims
Bad drivers
Know-it-all fucktards

Favorite Sounds:
Waterfalls
Saxophones
A quiet sigh of delight

Favorite Flavors of Candy:
Good milk chocolate
Peppermints of any kind
English toffee

Biggest Fears:
Really stupid people being in charge of anything
Falling from a great height
Succumbing to yet another bad depressive episode

Biggest Challenges:
My fatness
Keeping a positive attitude
Oh, God? the exercising! Just shoot me.

Favorite Department Stores:
Bed, Bath and Beyond
Lowes
Target, which I like because their shopping bags have never ripped open in the parking lot.

Most Used Words:
?Oh, crap!?
?Oh, coooool!?
?Yeah, right. Dork.?

Favorite Pizza Toppings:
Ham
Pineapple
Extra cheese, because my hips really need that extra padding, you know.

Favorite Cartoon Characters:
Eric Cartman, that obnoxious little shit
Beavis, The CornholioooOOOooo of my heart
Peppermint Patty, whose fashion and beauty sense I hold in the highest regard

Movies Recently Watched:
Slingblade
Five Easy Pieces
The Onion Field


Favorite Fruits:

Cantaloupe
Honey Crisp apples ? they are delicious and very fragrant!
Bananas

Favorite Vegetables:
Broccoli
Onions
Garlic

(C?mere? give me a little kiss?) tongue.gif


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“I Want Caaaaaandyyyy…”

October 28, 2004 | 3 Comments

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Trick or Treat

Photoshop 7 Digital Collage
400 x 405 pixels
October 28, 2004

OOooo! The spooky little creatures are on their way… are you ready?

(I swear I had that exact same bear cub mask when I was about 6 years old. Hehe.)

Disaster averted. For the moment.

October 26, 2004 | Leave a Comment

Agent J?s trip back to Sioux City went pretty well. Basically, he feels that Daddy Al still has his wits about him ? meaning that he doesn?t seem to be succumbing to a form of dementia ? but that the old man gets so excited when some waves 5 bucks in front of his nose that he loses all common sense.

To me, that is a form of dementia, but eh? what can I say?

J got his dad to talk a lot and then told him that he is willing to help him with his real estate and legal dealings, but that he (Al) needs to calm the fuck down and not be in such an all-fired hurry to sign papers, otherwise he is going to get royally screwed. Agent J also discovered that Al is in no way hurting for money, he just wants more, more, more and is afraid that if he doesn?t sell all of his land immediately, no one will ever make him another offer.

(I call that the High School Wallflower Syndrome. Gotta jump on the first offer to go to the prom, ya know! No one will ever ask you again, ya know!)

High school wallflowers I can excuse. Sixty-seven year old men with greed issues get no mercy from me.

Here?s another interesting thing that happened on the trip: J went with his dad to see ?the new lawyer?, and that guy said

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