‘Round and ‘Round she goes…

March 30, 2005 | 3 Comments

I’m busy as hell, but I’m not getting a damn thing done. Nothing new there, eh? I feel like a dog chasing its own tail.

Hope is on the horizon, though. We’re going to the opening of an art show on Friday night, and nothing clears my head like good art. I may even get drunk at the after-party just to clear it some more.

:dumb:

Anyway, in lieu of an actual entry, I shall share my favorite Charles Bukowski poem with you. It’s taken from the book The Last Night of the Earth Poems.

question and answer

he sat naked and drunk in a room of summer
night, running the blade of the knife
under his fingernails, smiling, thinking
of all the letters he had received
telling him that
the way he lived and wrote about
that–
it had kept them going when
all seemed
truly
hopeless.

putting the blade on the table, he
flicked it with a finger
and it whirled
in a flashing circle
under the light.

who the hell is going to save
me? he
thought.

as the knife stopped spinning
the answer came:
you’re going to have to
save yourself.

still smiling,
a: he lit a
cigarette
b: he poured
another
drink
c: gave the blade
another
spin.

Did you like it? Yeah, I know. It’s a bit dark, but it’s also very real. Good stuff.

More again soon, my friends ~ ~ ~

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

This just in…

March 28, 2005 | 7 Comments

“In a damaging blow to the defense, the judge in the Michael Jackson child-molestation trial ruled Monday that evidence from five past molestation claims will be allowed in this current case.

This means that the jury will hear about allegations from 1990 and 1993 — which ended when Jackson settled for millions of dollars — as well as three others, as early as Monday. Jackson was not in court for the pretrial hearing.” — MTV.com

Well, well, well. Do you suppose Michael turned white as a ghost when he heard the judge’s ruling?

It looks like Whacko Jacko may be going down soon.

In more ways than one.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Muttering and other things.

March 28, 2005 | 3 Comments

Stumbling along, muttering unconsciously…

I’m waiting:: for a little more light.
Speak:: the truth and let the chips fall where they may.
Roger…:: Isn’t that a British term for schtupping?
Knock knock:: knockin’ on Heaven’s Door…
Hybrid:: schmybrid — Give me a powerful, gas guzzlin’ SUV.
Can’t believe my eyes:: I always believe my eyes.
Hooked:: on foniks werked four Me!
Pontificate:: To preach out of one’s ass.
Slime:: snail trail
Unwelcome:: Jehovah’s Witnesses, telemarketer phonecalls, and PMS pimples. All are examples of the “Annoying Big Three”: Twits, Shits and Zits.

Sorry if you are a JW and I offended you with that last statement. But, really now… you know what you do you isn’t right, dontcha? Come on. Attraction, not promotion. That’s how it works best.

One of my most favorite stories of a Jehovah’s Witness “incident” comes from a guy that Agent J works with.

One sunny afternoon, “Bob” was home watching the kids while his wife was out running errands and probably regaining a bit of sanity. He and the older two children were playing games at the dining room table. The youngest, who was 7 months old at the time, was lying on a blanket in the middle of the living room floor, cooing and babbling, a soft summer breeze blowing over her through the screen door.

Looking up from the board game, Bob spied the area’s most relentless and crotchety JW, marching straight up the sidewalk and heading for their front door, pamphlets and tracts in hand. Fire and brimstone alert! Fire and brimstone alert!

But he knew it: he was trapped like a rat. Panic set in, and he did the first illogical thing that came to mind. He grabbed the two oldest kids and jumped behind the couch where the JW wouldn’t be able to see them. A brilliant plan, and they all crouched and giggled at how they were fooling the pontificating old bag.

Oh sure, it’s all fun and games until you realize you’ve left the youngest and most vulnerable of your tribe — a tiny, gurgling babe — out in the open where the rabid and hungry zealot can get her. Doh!

*Ding-dong*

What’s a father to do? This is truly a moral dilemma.

*Ding-dong* … *Ding-dong*

JW is now peering through the door at the baby, who has obviously been abandoned in an empty house by her Satan-worshipping family. “Helloooooooooo…”

Dad thinks… OK, well. That new baby, she’s cute and all — but these are battle conditions! Sacrifices must be made. He and the wife could always make another one. There was no way in hell that he going to deal with that JW and three kids. He tells his wiggling, whispering troops to hush.

*Ding-dong*……….

The baby giggles. The heathen Daddy and his two wicked offspring cackle quietly to themselves from their position of security. Seconds seem like minutes. Minutes seem like hours. But it’s worth it, they are thwarting the enemy. Their foe is weakening.

Finally, one more exasperated “Hellooooooooooooo” through the screen, before JW harumphs somewhat angrily, stuffs the mailbox full of ~~idiotic bullshit~~ reading material, and stomps off down the sidewalk to her car. She has been denied by her opponent. There shall be no fresh meat for her this hunting day.

Apparently, the funniest part was the astonished look on JW’s face when she turned her car around at the end of the block, and drove by the house again less 45 seconds later, only to see the front door tightly shut and the shades being quickly lowered.

I wonder if she thought that evil, heathen baby did it.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Wishing you a…

March 27, 2005 | Leave a Comment

May your souls be filled with hope, peace and faith today and everyday, my friends. Hugs and jellybeans all around!

PS. Special thanks to Pat’s Web Graphics for the cute little Easter Bunny. Awwww!

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

What’s your reality?

March 26, 2005 | 2 Comments

I just received the most hilarious email! It said:

Can you settle an argument please? Is your website a parody, or is it real?
Thanks,
(signed with an email addy)

This question has struck me so funny; I can’t stop laughing about it. I mean, if you look at it one way, a question like that might seem a little offensive. It implies that something about me or my life is beyond ridiculous. If I were a different person, I might even be having a Joe Pesci – “Goodfellas” moment here.

“I’m funny how? I’m funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?”

(Snag the .wav) :rofl:

I must say, I’m also a bit flattered that there are people out there discussing me and my site and having debates about what they read and view here. That takes time and consideration, which are two things that many people are not likely to give up easily these days. So, thank you, whoever you are. I appreciate your interest.

But I am wondering, does my perspective on life really seem that odd to other people? So much so that they can’t tell if I am presenting a parody or not? I know I’m a little quirky, but come on… you’ve met quirkier haven’t you?

Christ, I’ve met quirkier. And that’s saying a lot.

I guess the best way to answer the question is in my usual blunt and honest fashion. (As you all know, I’m nothing if not annoyingly blunt and honest, kids.) So here goes:

Everything I present here is the truth of my life. How you interpret my words, my artwork, etc. are all based on your point of view at any given moment. So maybe… just maybe…

One person’s reality is another person’s parody. And vice-versa.

And there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with that.

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized