Throwin’ down some love.

May 30, 2005 | 3 Comments

I really like all of these love songs – they are some of my favorites and they make my heart happy whenever I listen to them. I hope you enjoy them too!

John Cougar Mellencamp – Ain’t Even Done With the Night

Lindsey Buckingham – Trouble

Walter Egan – Magnet and Steel

Sophie B. Hawkins – Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover

I’ve come to the conclusion that nearly every song or instrumental arrangement worth listening to is about love, sex or attraction to our “others” — the souls that complete us. Every other kind of music seems nonsensical to me.

Yet, even the most nonsensical songs can make some people get up on the dance floor and writhe like they are in heat. (Face it, there have probably been babies conceived with Boris Picket’s “Monster Mash” playing in the background. You know it’s true.)

We’re all just a bunch of horny lust weasels.

I kinda like it this way.

If all goes according to plan, by this time next week I’ll be shaking off the anesthesia and gradually becoming a menace to polite society again. *Rawr*

I’ve got a lot to do in the next few days. Got to call my sisters and email some friends. Need to shop for a few aftercare supplies. I have appointments scheduled with my primary care doctor, my shrink and my surgeon. I should run by my campus office and water the plants, even though I suspect they may be wilted beyond revival now.

I really wish I could just grab a cooler full of popsicles and Jello (oh yum) and fly to Italy for 5 days. Because think of it, if this were possibly your last week on Earth, would you want to spend it in Dubuque?

Pffft. Never mind me. I think all of the apple juice and beef broth has my brain saturated and soggy. :no:

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Saturday Scoop

May 28, 2005 | 5 Comments

You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy

Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious.
Deep down, you’re just a cuddle monster.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Cuddle monster. What can I say?

I can’t believe this. I’m on day #3 of the required pre-surgical, clear-liquid diet and I haven’t strangled anyone yet! I haven’t even thought of strangling anyone!

Give me time, though… by Wednesday I should be ready to do some major carnage.
I think it’s just a lot easier now that I can see the goal line ahead. Before this it all seemed out of focus. Now I am zeroed in like a hawk.

You all realize that after this weight loss I am going to be an unstoppable force, don’t you?

Ok, good. Just so you know.

There are some interesting developments going on next door at the Sucky Neighbor Compound. According to my highly-reliable sources, Black Cherry and Marsha da Ho are at war with one another, tensions are at the breaking point, thus explaining the long periods of peace and quiet we are enjoying. Yes, I know that doesn’t make sense. But nothing that goes on over there ever makes sense.

Here’s the deal: whenever Black Cherry or Bumbling Bill are home, Marsha hightails it out of there, taking the demonic spawn with her – so that is why there are no screaming confrontations and plate throwing altercations at the moment. She just goes and flops on someone else’s couch to get drunk and entertain men until the coast is clear (when everyone goes to work), then she comes slinking back.

The scary thing is that Black Cherry wants custody of all four of the hellion grandkids because she has deemed Marsha – the daughter she raised – to be an unfit mother! She also managed to raise a violent ex-felon son as well. Do we all see the irony of that? Yes? I thought so.

I guess we’ll see how that drama unfolds.
One really good development next door is that Bumbling Bill is now taking much better care of the yard. According to him, he is cutting the grass and cleaning up the yard before the city fines him. “I don’t want the city after me!” he says. Of course, he mows the lawn at 7:30 on Sunday morning now – but remember, we are looking for progress here people, not perfection!

All I can say is that I’ll be starting Day #4 of the clear liquids tomorrow, so if he chooses to cut the grass again at that time he’s taking his life in his own hands, that hapless schmuck.

Last but not least for today’s entry, this is one of the funniest/grossest things I have seen all week. Click the image to go to the site.

As a contemporary artist, I find the “Gel” incident to be hilarious. Take that, Damien Hirst! Hahaha!

:rofl:

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Wheeeeee!

May 25, 2005 | 6 Comments

YES! I now have a date set for This Fatgirl’s Prom of Proms! It’s all happening on Monday, June 6th, at 9:30 am.

I’ve heard rumors that my date is special ordering a beautiful bowel prep for me to use the day before, too! I sure hope the color matches my gown…

~sWoOn~ It’s all so glamorous! :kiss:

(Awww, c’mon. If I can’t kid about surgery, what CAN I kid about?)

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Uncategorized

Miles of hiccups

May 23, 2005 | 4 Comments

As far as I know all of the pre-op testing went well this morning. Now the results will be reviewed by the surgeons and I’ll probably have a date for the Prom sometime this week.
There were a few bothersome moments with the process. First, I had the Nervous Hiccups from Hell for the last 70 miles of the drive. They absolutely would not let up no matter what I tried and by the time I reached Cedar Falls my head was thumping and I had a sharp pain developing between my shoulder blades. Next, when I got to the hospital, they never received the lab orders from the doctor’s office, so I had to sit there like a schmoe while they called and faxed and tracked things down. Eventually I got into the lab, a half hour after my appointment (and hiccup-free for 3 minutes) and they started the tests.

So I’m laying there on the ultrasound table, all gelled up — imagine my pleasure — and the tech begins the procedure. She starts to chuckle a little and asks “When did you last have a drink of water?” I told her I drank about 8-12 ounces on the drive this morning, trying to get rid of the hiccups. She says that I shouldn’t have had anything passed orally for at least 8 hours, including water, because it could possibly interfere with the tests.

I told her that the Scheduling Chick told me to fast for 8 hours, with nothing after midnight except water. Water was allowed.

:swear: Conflicting medical directions! Incompetence.

Anyway, she manages to get the images she needs for the ultrasound, but says she’s not sure if they will be able to do the EKG because I drank water. I told her that if I have to stay over until tomorrow to have the test done, that scheduling chick who gave me the wrong information can put me up for the night — and I’ll hiccup into a megaphone next to her head for hours until she screams for mercy.

(Note: I later called that same scheduling chick to report what had happened and she AGAIN told me that it was fine to drink water — that’s what she tells all of the patients — and I told her they need to get their instructions straight because the lab techs say they are full of shit or a reasonable facsimile thereof. )

I did, miraculously, get the EKG done. Which was so freakin’ simple I couldn’t believe it — I barely got comfortable and the person said “Ok, all done!” I told her that I’ve taken longer checking a turkey for doneness than she did checking my heart rhythms. She said that the scary thing is she probably wouldn’t be able to tell if a turkey was done or not.

Gah! That is a tad scary when you think about it.
They also took pee, chest x-rays, and about 2 pints of blood just for fun. After all that, I got dressed, jumped in the car and hit the highway again.