Ten Random Things
April 30, 2006 | 2 Comments
1. Tomorrow is Randy and Maizey’s third birthday! Randy wants to go to Petco and adopt a pet rat… Maizey wants a pink tu-tu and ballerina slippers. (They’re getting catnip and some freeze-dried shrimp. I’m such a killjoy.)
2. I made a Reading List page. Have you seen it yet? Look to your right. There it is. I’ve been reading a lot; almost obsessively. If you haven’t read Laurie Notaro’s books yet, I highly recommend them for summer time. They are a riot! (And I’m not even much of a “chick lit” fan.) You might even want to pick up one of her books for a read-y type friend for Mother’s Day.
3. All this illegal immigration crap is giving me a huge headache. I’m pissed at our government officials (of ALL parties) for letting it go on so long. I’m pissed at Vincente Fox for being such a corrupt asshole and not taking care of his country’s people. I’m pissed at the illegal immigrants who feel that they can just come here, break our laws, take advantage of our health care, legal, and educational systems…and then spit in our collective American face and say they are entitled to all of it. Because the Southwest was their land to begin with.
I feel like it’s going to take a Civil War to get things straightened out again.
4. I also think that unless we get this border mess resolved, we’re all going to need to make a trip to this store:
(Thanks to my dear friend Betty for sending me that pic. Hee!)
5. I had a dream recently that I found a brown suede purse on the street. When I looked inside of it there was a thick stack of money. The odd thing was that when I took the money out of the bag, more appeared. I kept pulling out wads of cash and placing them on a table. I was a bit afraid to close the bag because I didn’t know if the money would reappear when I opened it again. And it was causing such pressure on me, that not knowing what to do. I was getting tired of stacking money, but wouldn’t (couldn’t ) stop. Now it’s funny to think that the hardest work I did in the dream was collecting free money and that was exhausting and tedious.
6. I have three medical appointments scheduled for this week and I want to cancel them all.
7. Bumbling Bill has been working like a possessed fiend next door; he must be pretty confident that Marsha and Da Thugs are never going to darken his door again. I think everyone in the neighborhood is cautiously optimistic. She has never been out of the house this long in all the time they’ve lived there.
8. In other Marsha news, the recent scuttlebutt has it that she is going to get married in December to some guy from Rockford, Illinois. He’s supposedly a real estate agent. I don’t know – I just can’t fathom any decent person willingly getting tangled up with a drunken, drugged out mess like her – and taking on her 4 future delinquents as a bonus. Which means, he’s most likely not a decent person. If they do hook up, it’s a business decision and nothing more. (I know. I’m a cynic.)
9. Didja hear? Katie Holmes has now legally changed her name to “Kate”. (Her birth name is Katherine.) Tom Cruise said the reason she chose to do this is because since having the baby she is now a grown woman and the name Katie is too childish.
Maybe she should have changed her name to “Cult” because that’s what has warped her mind so much that she can’t think or speak for herself anymore.
10. I have to get one of these Blush bags. It’s the only way my ass is ever going to look like that.
Hehe. See you again tomorrow for the Mambo, kids…
Tie on a bib… it’s the Friday’s Feast!
April 27, 2006 | 8 Comments
Appetizer:
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?
I’d say about an 8. I have extremely good manners – and I am intrigued by the rules of etiquette (even contemporary ones) – but in some situations impudence is required to get my point across. Therefore I occasionally misbehave. Ahem.
Soup:
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
Jer and I recently had a major laughing breakdown about Greta Van Susteren. We both just find her so ridiculous and dramatic… and when you combine that with her Sylvester the Cat speech impediment and being a Scientologist… well… it can get pretty funny.
Salad:
Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Eric Cartman, that obnoxious little prick.
Main Course:
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.
Mr. Larry Flom, who taught World History at my high school was definitely the funniest teacher I ever had. He was fifty-ish, pudgy and looked like he could be Mel Torme’s twin brother. He used to work magic tricks into the daily lessons, make up songs (and sing them!) about the historical figures, and once he did something that was so uniquely inventive as a teacher that it has impressed me to this day.
We were studying the Prehistorical Era and he told the class the day before that we would be having a guest speaker – a specialist on the topic – so he wanted us to be sure and be on time for class.
The next day Mr. Flom looked worried as we all filed in on time and took our seats. He said that the guest speaker hadn’t shown up yet and thought he might be waiting at the central office or perhaps couldn’t find the classroom. He said he was going to go check at the office and if the guest happened to show up to please make him feel welcome. And off he went.
Five minutes later, a caveman appears in the doorway! He was dressed in a brown, furry Flintstone-like tunic, carrying a club, had long, wooly black hair and a bushy uni-brow above his eyes. He had these big gnarly teeth protruding from his mouth and walked around in an apelike fashion. At first we were all too stunned to think – then we busted out laughing! He told us his name was “Professor Unngh” and he was supposed to be lecturing the class that day – and asked where was Mr Flom?
He shrugged off Mr. Flom’s “absence” and then taught the entire lesson about Prehistoric Man as only a real caveman could do. It was absolutely HILARIOUS.
About 10 minutes before class was supposed to end, he concluded his lecture with a grunt, and then said he had to leave to go hunting for his lunch. He waved his club and ambled out of the room… and five minutes later, Mr. Flom appeared in the doorway, breathless and red-faced. He apologized profusely, explaining that he had looked everywhere but just couldn’t find the Professor.
The funniest part was when he realized he was still wearing the fake uni-brow, snatched it off and shoved it in his pocket.
I loved that guy. He taught me the value of making learning fun.
Dessert:
Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.
I strongly believe that even in the darkest moments of our lives, hope and love are still present – and if we don’t give up, we will eventually find it again.
Have a great Friday, everyone! Go play in the sunshine or the raindrops… whichever it may be. :yes:
Ooops, she did it again.
April 25, 2006 | 3 Comments
Yes, Britney is knocked up again. (Quick, someone start making a sculpture of her! She’s the new Trailer Trash Fertility Goddess… worship her! Worrrrrship!):roll:
Last Friday I went back to the dentist because that tooth he worked on was fucking killing me. He adjusted the bite and gave me some painkillers for the weekend.
I went back today because any time I wasn’t doped to the gills, the pain was excruciating. It felt like I had a molar-sized volcano in my mouth.
So… to make a long story longer: I may have to get a root canal done.
But the oral surgeon can’t see me until May 18th. So the dentist is going to put the finished crown on next Monday with temporary cement, then the oral surgeon is going to pry it off a couple weeks later in order to torture me further. He will then be the one who decides the fate of The Molar From Hell.
The next person who compliments me on my radiant smile is going to hear my enduring sob story of dental horrors from the day I first sprouted a tooth until the present time. Extractions, wisdom teeth, braces, bridges, crowns, fillings – nothing shall be omitted!
The terrible truth behind the beauty must be told!
(Sorry for the drama. Blame it on the Vicodin.)
In very good, interesting news: Jer’s old man, Daddy Al is going on a Hawaiian vacation…
With his girlfriend!!
I’m totally loving this. I hope they have a great trip and come back all suntanned and giddy. I guess it could be kind of a “relationship test,” you know? Going away for 5 days with someone would really let you discover if you could stand them for longer amounts of time.
Like, say, if they were to get married.
Oooo… or if they just wanted to shack up!
Hey, at this point, I wouldn’t put anything past ‘em. This woman must possess some magical powers. She’s already got Al – the notorious homebody — to go to a gay cowboy movie, out on dates, and even on long car trips. Now he’s actually getting on a plane (!) and leaving the continental US (!!) and is probably going to get laid lei-ed in Hawaii (!!!)
Hehe. Anyway.
I’m just glad he’s enjoying himself again. It’s nice to see Spring make a re-appearance in the Autumn years of someone’s life.
I suppose I better wrap this up for now. The drugs have kicked in. My tooth is now painless, my brain feels fuzzy and I think I want to snuggle up with a book until I zonk out.
More again soon, my friends. Don’t forget to brush and floss.
Monday Music Mambo, #96
April 24, 2006 | 2 Comments
This just in from the home office in Mamboville…
Hi mamboers! I’m back with another Monday Music Mambo for your enjoyment. I’m writing this on Sunday, and it’s my birthday today! So I thought I’d make the Mambo birthday related today.
Your assignment is to find a musician who was born on your birthday (or on the day before or after your birthday, if you don’t like the people born on your day) and give me a list of three or four songs by that artist. You can do this for as many musicians as you want.
I was born on September 16th… and so were these singers and musicians:
Charlie Byrd - Soft Lights and Sweet Music 
B.B. King - Got My Mojo Workin’
Richard Marx ~ Right Here Waiting
Trisha Yearwood - She’s In Love with the Boy
Nile Rodgers (The Honeydrippers) - Rockin’ at Midnight
David Bellamy (Bellamy Brothers) - Let Your Love Flow
Joe Butler (Lovin’ Spoonful) - Do You Believe in Magic
Betty Kelly (Martha Reeves & The Vandellas) - Jimmy Mack
Bernie Calvert (The Hollies) - Long Cool Woman
Ron Blair (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers) - Don’t Do Me Like That
I had to bend the rules a little bit, because there are so many talented September 16th Virgos out there that I wanted to shine the spotlight on more than just one.
Happy Birthday to the Mememeister… and a Happy Monday to all! Snag the tunes if you like; they’ll be up for a week.
:kiss:
Testing… Is this thing on?
April 21, 2006 | 4 Comments
I upgraded the site to Wordpress 2.
So far, the sky has not fallen. Of course, give me a day with it and I’ll find a way to become confused and regretful about upgrading. Heh. But right now I am starting to suspect all the brou-ha-ha about this version being so awful was really just a pissing match between geeks.
They need to go back to taping the frames on their glasses and stop scaring common non-geeky folks like me.
Translation: Because we’ve irritated and poked the hell out of your healthy gumline with a metal spike for 30 minutes, we now have to cut away some of the swollen tissue in order to finish the brutality we started.
Cut away. With some sort of blow torch thing. IN MY MOUTH.
Let me say, I absolutely love my dentist… but DAMN, PEOPLE. Apparently it’s just not dentistry unless there is blood and agony involved.
I go back in a week or so to get the porcelain crown seated. It makes my knees wobbly just thinking about it. 
Welcome to the here and now.
My name is Christine Thurow and I am a professional artist, living in my lovely home state of Iowa. My humor is sarcastic, my wit dry and my appetite for unbridled hedonism, ravenous. Did I say hedonism? I meant intelligent exchange.
Repeat after me...
Luscious Looty & Booty
Flickr
Doin' It Dubuque Style, Baby...
More Good Reads
Webrings
Much Love to:
You are lil' kitten number:
