Yikes.

July 31, 2007 | 6 Comments

Gees. You know my previous rant? (See below.)

It never occurred to me that a friend who actually takes the time to read my blog would assume I was talking about him or her. This is a place where I sometimes let off steam about people whom I can’t deal with in any other way. If you are my true friend and I am this angry with you, you better believe you’d hear it face-to-face. I’ll drive right up to your door and confront you with it.

So from now on, if I write something ranty here that doesn’t sound like a description of you — please give me the benefit of the doubt and don’t take it personally. It doesn’t pertain to you.

And if I’m not knocking on your front door, my friends, you can definitely rest assured that you’re not the one I am referring to.

Ok? Ok. :heart:

Posted by Christine | Filed Under The Scoop

Seriously random blatherings.

July 31, 2007 | 1 Comment

Ok, first off, I had therapy today. Therapy sucks. I hate it. I hate going. I hate exposing my psyche and crying like a big, helpless baby.

I hate having my brain probed for all of the juicy tidbits of neuroses. It hurts.

Furthermore, I hate discussing problems I am having with other people in therapy. People that totally need to be in therapy themselves. (But you know they won’t ever go because it takes 1) immense courage, which they don’t have, 2) honesty which they are not capable of, and 3) the desire to change their lives for the better, which apparently they don’t possess either.

As my shrink would say: Some people would just rather die like self-centered, miserable assholes and take as many unsuspecting people along with them that they can.

It doesn’t mean they are evil.

It just means they are broken. It’s up to them to face the truth and to fix what is broken about them.

Pouring love onto people in spite of who they are and what they do doesn’t work. In fact, it allows them to remain exactly the way they are. Which is fine with them because — even though they complain about their miseries — they are extremely content and comfortable. Afterall, you are the one doing all of the painful work.

Fuckers.

I hereby declare a ban on all Fuckers. I choose sanity. I will still love them because God commands me to, but I will never allow another Fucker to fuck me over again.

You are now in The No-Fucker Zone.

And that’s all you’re ever going to hear me say about that. Case closed.

***********

Digressing (appropriately) to the subject of bad language…

My beautiful and sweet niece, Jessica – who is in her early 20’s — shocked the family at a gathering once. We were all talking about swearing, the prevalence of it on TV nowadays, and how often we personally use cuss words. To be honest, I am probably the one that uses it most, next to Daddy Bill. (But I am clearly a distant second, trust me.)

Anyway, Jessica chimes in casually with: “If someone pisses me off, I just call them a cocksuckermotherfucker!”

Everybody’s heads turned with a snap and all of our jaws dropped open.

Then in unison: “Jessica!”

She started laughing, surprised at our shock, and said: “What!? I usually don’t say it *that* way! I usually just say they are a “cosomofo”…”

Cosomofo. She cracks me up.

I use that term at least 5 times a week now.

*************

In other news – just because I am feeling especially brain-dumpish at the moment – you know that thing with Michael Vick and the dog fighting scandal?

Well, a lot of people are starting to make this a race issue, and it’s not. I really hope that the entire situation doesn’t get side-tracked like that. (Hear that Jesse Jackson? You asshole.) If it does, we are going to lose yet another opportunity to unite good people together no matter what their skin color happens to be.

As this story unfolds in the media and more awful details emerge, remind yourself that it’s not a race issue. It’s a moral issue. There are millions of black people who are just as appalled as everyone one else by Vick’s behavior.

When you think about it that way, it makes it all much clearer.

(By the way, go HERE to sign a Humane Society petition asking the NFL to ban him from playing until the charges against him are resolved in a court of law.)

*************

Time for me to go take some aspirin and lie down for a bit. (I had an ice cream cone after therapy, but surprisingly it didn’t make me feel all better. Heh.)

Be good to one another now. Do not be cosomofos.

~ XOXoxOXOXx

Posted by Christine | Filed Under The Scoop

Mambo-liscious Monday

July 30, 2007 | 2 Comments

This just in from the home office in Mamboville…

Hello everyone. It’s mambo time! Today is Kiss Your Car Day. I don’t suggest you actually kiss your car, but we can talk about cars and music.

1. Name a song or two about cars or driving.

Beatles – Drive My Car

Commander Cody – Hot Rod Lincoln

Wilson Pickett – Mustang Sally

Janis Joplin – Mercedes Benz

Prince – Little Red Corvette

Willie Nelson – She Loves My Automobile

2. Name a song that’s good to listen to when driving.

If I’m on the interstate, I like uptempo music.

Gin Blossoms – Found Out About You

Led Zeppelin – Rock and Roll

Doors – Roadhouse Blues

Whitesnake – Here I Go Again

Rare Earth – Get Ready

Prince – I Would Die 4 U

Golden Earring – Radar Love

3. Name an album that’s good to listen to when driving.

I’m not really into complete albums anymore. I always make my own mix, and sometimes they are pretty mellow. (I don’t always drive like a speed demon, you see.)

Here are some nice songs to put into a soft mix:

Kelly Clarkson – Walk On By (Live)

Robbie Robertson – Broken Arrow

Lionel Richie – Sail On

Cass Elliot – There’s a New World Coming

Simply Red – Holding Back the Years

REM – Wichita Lineman (Live)

Rolling Stones – Wild Horses

Staple Singers – I’ll Take You There

Loggins & Messina – A Love Song

4. If you could drive the car of one musician, whose car would you choose?

I’d love to drive 50 Cent’s Silver Rolls Royce Phantom. Brutha would never get it back either. I’d throw out his music collection and keep all the cash and bling I found in the seats, too.

The only drawback would be all of the gangstas shootin’ at the car because they thought HE was driving it.

(I guess I’d could always trade it in for one of the new Phantom Drophead Coupes, just to be safe. )

***************

Ok, that’s it for this week’s Mambo, kids — the links stay hot until next time we play, so snag what you like before then.

I hope your Monday is even better than you imagined it could be!

:heart:

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Monday Music Mambo

Muttering, giggling and more.

July 29, 2007 | 3 Comments

I say … and you think … ?

1. Traditional :: sentimental
2. Popeye :: chihuahua dog
3. Gin :: Blossoms
4. Harsh :: SAYING IT IN CAPS
5. Topless :: boobs
6. The thing :: wasn’t all that…
7. Defiant :: rebellious
8. Huge :: ego
9. Food :: health
10. Lenny :: Of Mice and Men

Wow, that was really strange to think of the character Lenny Small from Steinbeck’s book first. It was followed immediately by Lenny Bruce, Lenny Kosnowski (as in Lenny and Squiggy — hahaha!) and finally, Lenny Kravitz.

That’s quite an assortment of Lenny-s for one head to hold.

***********

Well, the biking duo is back home — exhausted, sunburned, achy — and now, showered, fed and snoring. Awww. They’re both so cute!

I think the last leg of the trip was much harder than the previous one. They had lots of rolling hills to tackle as they got closer and closer to the river, plus they were cycling into the wind most of the day.

I drove down to Bellevue in the truck to pick them up, and as we were riding back I asked Jerry if he was going to do it next year. He started laughing and said “Gees, I don’t know… today about whipped my ass. And that bike seat made me feel like I’ve been kicked in the junk!”

(New term we invented on the spot:

Junk-Yard Dawg Syndrome. Feeling like your “taint” has been gnarled by a junkyard dawg.)

Linda and I cracked up — but told him it was probably like what new moms say after childbirth. “Never again!” and then the memory of the pain fades, and they start thinking about the next baby.

And it’s proving to be true. He was already talking about “next year” tonight.

I hope those two make it an annual tradition, because it was another brother-sister bonding experience for them — and it was a lot of fun for me, too. I got to see new things, meet new people and participate in my own way as their support team.

I’ll be sure post some of the pictures as soon as they are developed!

************

Well, I have to get busy on some projects right now. I’m going to make Linda a turquoise bracelet to wear home tomorrow. She’ll be surprised!

Have a great Sunday, everyone.

:flowers:

Posted by Christine | Filed Under Funny Ha Ha, Memes

Wheelie poppin’ fun.

July 28, 2007 | Leave a Comment

Just a quick update on a few things; then I have *got* to get some sleep!

Jer and his sister Linda are on their RAGBRAI biking trip right now. We drove to their starting point at dawn yesterday, they unloaded their bikes and took off with the rest of the 14,000 ~~lunatics~~ cyclists. I think they put in 50-60 miles or so, but I can’t quite recall. (I am sure their asses can recall the exact mileage though. Bwah!)

Last evening I met them at their host family’s house and dropped off their overnight gear and sleeping bags. The hosts are a really nice couple that Jer knows from work, so I am sure they are very comfortable, freshly showered, and sleeping like logs tonight. Which is good, because the last leg of the trip is about another 60 miles today.

They are definitely having a blast; those two are right in their element. They are laughing and joking around like they did when we were all teenagers. It makes my heart happy to see that! Who would have guessed that middle-age was going to be so fun?

Anyway, I didn’t stay long after they unloaded their gear because the little town of Dyersville was about to get insane with thousands of the bikers setting up their tents, wandering around to the food vendors, and basically getting drunker than skunks. I also saw a few bare-assed bikers taking impromptu showers from a fire hydrant (yikes!) and I heard rumors that there was going to be a Naked Slip N’ Slide as well. I wasn’t sticking around to see that.

(However, I made sure that Jerry had a camera with him. Oh, please… Jake Gyllenhaal… make my Slip N’ Slide dreams come true! I want to see your Brokeback Mountain Man butt!)

Ten-dah-roni!