Bleh.

July 31, 2004

Why haven?t I been updating? Because there?s been absolutely nothing going on for the past two days. It?s driving me nuts and starting to piss me off a little, too. All I?ve been doing is reading, taking walks, writing, sketching, and sleeping. There?s so much energy now, but it doesn?t have a place to go. Worse yet, I feel as if I?m starting to isolate again and I don?t know why.

I long for the isolation, but dread it at the same time. It?s probably necessary for me - for some odd reason - but it doesn?t always feel healthy. When I go into seclusion my mind will chew on every thought like a rabid dog until I am exhausted. Then I?ll cry, cry, cry, take a few deep breaths, and rejoin society again. It?s like I need to hole up for a while to figure out stuff that I can?t seem to talk about out loud.

In fact, it?s as if there are no words to describe what I am feeling even if I wanted to talk about it with someone.

I think Monday will be a good day to gas up the car and go for a day-long drive. Maybe the change of scenery will shake something loose.

More again soon. You know me? I?m never quiet for too long.