Quotes Galore!

I love a good quotation — be it wise, silly, or smartassed. This is a list of all of the quotations that are used on this website; the ones that show up on the right hand column of each page and change each time the page is refreshed.

Feel free to copy my list for your own site if you like… and if you know a good one that I might like, please send it to me. I’ll put it in the rotation.

“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” — Pema Chodron

“There will be a time when you believe that everything is finished — that will be the beginning.” — Unknown

“Time moves in one direction, memory in another.” — William Gibson

“There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.” — Jane Austen

“Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself.” — Henry James

“Love has no age, no limit; and no death.” — John Galsworthy

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” — John C. Maxwell

“Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.” — Unknown

“Everybody will help you discover what you set out to find…” — Bob Dylan

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” — Chris Rock

“Everything is funny — as long as it is happening to someone else.” — Will Rogers

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. — Albert Einstein

“I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.” — Some Chubby Chick

“I have a FLAT stomach. The L is silent.” — Some Chubby Chick

“View your life with KINDsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and saying ‘What was I thinking?’, breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, ‘What was I learning?’” — Karen Salmansohn

“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” — Chris Rock

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” — Billy Sunday

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” — Winston S. Churchill

“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” — Steven Wright

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” — Mark Twain

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.” — Bill Murray

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.” — Spanish Proverb

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” — Unknown

“Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.” — Beth McCollister

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” — Rodney Dangerfield

“A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.” — Unknown

“A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.” — George Santayana

“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” — Tom Bodett

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin

“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.” — Polish Proverb

“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” — Woodrow Wyatt

“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.” — Ethel Barrymore

“It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.” — Bill Murray

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.” — Chris Rock

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” — George Carlin

“A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” — George Carlin

“I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.” — Jon Stewart

“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.” — Ricky Gervais

“Rest and be kind, you don’t have to prove anything.” — Jack Kerouac

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” — Pablo Picasso

“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’. Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.” — Unknown

“It’s better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.” — Elizabeth Kenny

“Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.” — Will Ferrell

“Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don’t know.” — Will Ferrell

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” — Robin Williams

“People who criticize you have usually never achieved anywhere near what you have. Most of them would be too scared to even try. Keep going.” — Ricky Gervais